Why Is Dating Dead?

In the past month I feel like everywhere I turn a friend of mine turns to me and asks "Why has dating died?" or "Why don't people date anymore?!" I don't think a day goes by when the topic of dating doesn't come up in our casual conversations. We are taught that we are not to hang out as a means of getting to really know people. Hanging out offers no commitment on either side. The boy doesn't have to ask or pay, and the girl/ boy can leave whenever they want to. 

There should be four very distinct stages in relationships: dating, courtship, engagement, and marriage. 

Dating: it means you are going on dates! Which should be a variety of activities with a variety of people. Going on a date doesn't and shouldn't bring the thought "Oh my goodness he asked me out, he must be the one!" Dates should be simple and frequent. Dating means going on dates, it is not a condition!

Courtship: There should be a DTR (determine the relationship) to bring you to this next step. Determining and talking about your relationship with one another brings commitment and gets you both on the same page. It also allows you to practice communication skills with one another and will make it easier to communicate with each other later on. If you slide into this step, you more easily slide out of this step. Courting someone is a trial stage. How well do you work together, you can grow together and you are interested in the other persons needs just as much as you are your own. You should never date exclusively if you, yourself is not ready to get married.

Engagement: Well you all know what this step is. You have determined that you both are ready for the commitment of marriage and now want to spent the rest of your lives together. Even more of a growing together stage. 

Marriage: You made it! You both care about one another the same as you do for yourself, if not more. Both of you are coming closer together by strengthening your relationship with God and striving to be your best so the Holy Spirit of promise can approve and seal you as the years go on. 

Both men and women have been for the past few years reinforcing each others negative habits. Girls, stop letting the boys hang out with you! Boys, they are not letting you hang out with them because they want you to ask them out. The dates do not need to be super impressive or anything. In the conversations I have been able to have in my 4 years at college, girls just want simple dates and that is usually what they enjoy the most. A walk in the park with an ice cream cone, or a simple picnic. 

Boys, there is a point system with most girls. When asked the question, "Would you rather receive a dozen roses, or would you rather get one rose a day for twelve days?" Most girls responded with the latter. One point is awarded for each nice thing that is done, no matter how big or extravagant.Would you rather get one point a day for each rose? Or would you rather get awarded one point for 12 roses in one day? With boys, the bigger present or date would be ideal and would satisfy their needs for a while. The point system for boys is based on the size or expensiveness of the gift or activity. Keep the dates simple boys, earn more points over a period of time, you will get more points and it will save your wallet too. 

Because dating has become so rare, girls get very excited for the date, and that is why men usually don't want to ask out on dates because they think that the girl immediately thinks of marriage. If dating were more frequent, the girl would still get excited but, it wouldn't be less intimidating on both ends, because you both would know that dating just means getting to know qualities of the person that are desirable/undesirable in an eternal companion. Going on a date does not mean a lifetime commitment.